torture part 1
when and where does a person develop a sense of self worth (or a total lack of same)??the internal chatter has been driving me crazy recently. it is a non stop babble that clouds my mind and keeps me awake. i can have all the epiphanies and moments when something goes 'ping' that i want but how do you learn to like and value your self after 40 odd years of doing the opposite?
i will continue to wear the 'coping' persona but it becomes harder and harder to maintain and it is wearing thin in more than a few places. i would rather stop pretending to be me but i fear if i do that, i will disappear.
posted by 3rd daughter @ 9:35 pm
6 Comments:
internal chatter . . . would that there was some easy "off" button.
My chatter didn't start until my 20's. It's finally, slowly abating now, but I still have to be aware of it cropping up, replacing the "i'm dumb, stupid, ugly, wish I were dead" stuff with the proper talk.
You do well to live on your own, take care of yourself, create your own life, susan. That takes an immense strength, which you have in spades.
You're highly intelligent.
You're caring.
You like dogs. *smile* Okay, love dogs.
You're a good friend.
Take care of you! We love ya!
I wish I turn off the chatter, too. It's not bad all the time, but sometimes I do talk out loud to myself?? Do you do that, too?
self worth um sometimes others see more to you than you do. thats becouse we all look at ourselfs with a low opinion of one's self the way forward is probably to find the good things that happend today and even if its just opening a door for someone,or picking something up that a person dropped the more you do it the more you find and then you see what the rest of us see and know.that theres a lady who is a rock and firm foundation as a friend Thanks for being YOU.
i actually worry about losing the vox- it's my own internal chatter and does spit out some pretty negative things at times. me and the vox though, we're slowly learning to tolerate and actually benefit from each other. i think its a continual thing though, working with the internal voice everyone has.
thank you all for your comments. i guess i know deep down that i am worthy but there is so much junk on top that is suppressing it. i'm working on it and will get there eventually. thank you again.
Write about it, talk about it, get it OUT! From one who knows only too well...don't listen to the negativity, my friend. Even if it is coming from within.
You are an amazing person and with time you will know it too. Be patient and never stop working at it.
*HUGS*
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