coming up for air
over the last few months, with the various trains of thought running (late and out of timetable order) through my head, i sometimes had some serious doubts that i would see my 45th birthday. well, here i am, one more circumnavigation of the sun completed.say hello to the queen of 'surfacing' - my name for putting on a brave face and getting on with life. meanwhile, underneath the facade of coping, i am a seething wreck of self-doubt and self-destruction. i no longer have the construction materials or the emotional funding for the maintenance of this facade, so i'm slowly removing the scaffolding of pretence to show my true self, my long denied real self; the beautiful, worthy, lovable person who dwells within will break free at last.
number one in a tortured series of random brainwaves. i'll be in and out for a while. i have a lot of blog reading to catch up on...
posted by 3rd daughter @ 10:39 pm
15 Comments:
HELLO what better the long disance phone calls or a daily hello
Welcome back.
We all have to deal with crap thrown our way and sometimes there is no reason why it happens.
My last two years were brutal but it dawned on me a month ago that all the doubts I had in myself were if found because it wasn't me that put them there but others made me feel that way.
Looking forward to your rebirth.
Happy Birthday :)
Let your true self shine through, the beautiful person you are.
I struggle with a lot of things myself, but I am learning to look at myself as growth in progress.
There is sunshine breaking through the clouds.
Welcome back and take care.
*hugs*
Self doubting and destruction will get you know where but an early grave which i hope you werent alluding to when you said you thought you wouldnt make it to your 45th birthday? 3rd Daughter you are a beautiful person on the inside and the out but i think until you find out who you are and accept the fact that you are indeed worthy of being loved you wont be able to love someone in return. take care sweetheart.
We DO love you, susan, and it is good to see you here!
thank you all for your kind words and ongoing love and support. i'll probably be taking two steps forward and six steps back for some time, but as i've said before, i'm tough and i will survive.
anonymous, i assume you know me in the non-virtual plane. wish i knew who you are... your ip address/isp gave me no clues.
I am so glad the good is winning because you are truly a beautiful person and worthy of all the love and happiness this world can give. *HUGS*
I'm so glad you're back. The little bit I see of you on here is so sweet and caring. I wish you could adopt one of the doggies for you to love on all the time.
i heart you babe, ramble away.
if that is what you wish, 3rd daughter. maybe we should start everything anew, a special to celebrate your "rebirth"?
hello, third daughter! my name is tien. i'm from singapore. you can find me at my blog. *smiles*
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, } - this quote from the poem "Auguries Of Innocence" by William Blake.
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
anonymous, you are freaking me out...
Welcome back, Susan!
Just be patient and listen to yourself and take care of you. You will be back in a *very* big way--you are much to strong to do anything else.
Happy, Happy, Youngster.
Wotcher, lass. Good to see you surface... much better than being trapped deep down under (do you get the impression I'm looking forward to Pirates of the Carribean II?!)
I know, you live "down under", at least from my hemisphere... but...
Sorry. This Comment is turning out rubbish. But you know there's good sentiments beneath it.
Take care, and good to see you back round these parts.
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